Reluctant Lover

I twist and turn

Moving along the beat

You hang onto me - trying to make me stop

I shrug your hand off

And kept on turning

“Why?” you had asked

We walked down the pavement

Stopping at McDonald’s

Getting ice-cream

“Which flavor do you like?” I asked

Chocolate.

So I bought two vanillas for us

I stared into space

Music pounding in my ears

You said something

I pointed to my ear buds

Your face twists-

You walked off before I could ask “What?”

We said on the cold, hard floor

Back against back

Staring up at the sky

This was the end of the line – I felt it

But you didn’t let go

“Let’s try again.”

I didn’t understand –

Couldn’t

My head hurts from trying

“Let’s stop here,” I said

No, you told me, we need to keep going

And you half-dragged, half-carried me along

“Enough!” I shouted in your face

“I hate you!”

You just looked at me-

Your eyes emotionless

I have enough love for us both, you whispered

Into my hair, me in your arms

Why, you begged, won’t you love me?

I stared into your eyes

And shrugged

Something’s are simply not meant to be, I told you

You stood there stunned

Nodding your head – Okay, I give up, you win

I watched you walking away

I remembered everything you did and said

You said you had enough love for both of us

I thought for a minute - thinking, debating

Surely, you’d come back

You didn’t

I couldn’t turn anymore

I couldn’t twist

I felt like I was drowning

And there was no one to help me

Enough, I said

Time to go home now

I ran after you

Emotionless, senseless

What, you asked, do you want?

Your voice ice-cold

You, I said

You crushed me in your arms

My reluctant lover

You called me

I tried to smile – it looked like a grimace

You laughed

Smug and confident

Your arm around me tight

Picture by : Royston Toh