I am You

I looked up, blinking hard as the intense light glared into my eyes. Staring into her eyes, a sense of déjà vu crept into me. “Who are you?” I whispered breathlessly, wonder and astonishment slipped into my voice. Her smile, oh-so familiar, like I had seen it some place before. Lips, full and pale pink in colour. Her dark brown eyes gazed into mine. If you looked closer, you would have realized the gold flakes sprinkled in them.

“Have we met?” I murmured. Her laughter, tinkling like bells, resonated in the cool weather. Faint freckles dotted her cheeks, a blush spread across her face. She arched an eyebrow, “Don’t you know?” I shook my head, stunned, as my eyes tried to comprehend the magnificent vision before me. Awkwardly, I stood up and dusted bits of grass and dirt from my jeans. She grinned and giggled, a dainty shoulder shrugged gracefully, a lady-like shrug. Her hair wasn’t black like I thought it was. It was a dark, yet warm brown colour as the sun filtered through the thick strands. It lay untied, curled on her shoulders.

She wore a pastel yellow doll dress with tiny ginger-colored flowers dusted all over. I ran a trembling finger across her cheekbone. It felt cool under my fingertips. “I feel like I know you,” my voice barely audible. Her smile widen, eyes sparkled. Gracefully inclining her neck, she twirled and strolled elegantly away. I wanted to go after her, but instead, remained rooted to the spot.

*****

I saw her again. Her soft, brown hair tied up into a high ponytail, the color high in her cheeks. The beads of perspiration that dotted her brown made her glitter instead. She grinned at me as she carelessly brushed her fringe from her eyes. I gawked at her, unable to believe how one can still so paradisiacal despite have ran three rounds around the school. Her shirt was drenched and droplets of salty water plopped noisily onto the concrete ground.

“What is your name?” I begged her, “Please,” I whispered, desperation seeping into my voice. My breath shortened as I waited in anticipation or perhaps it was due to the dreaded sense of hopelessness which coursed through me.

She smiled sadly, her sorrow evident in her eyes, tearing at my heart. “You know me. You’ve just forgotten, that’s all.” Her russet eyes stared intently into mine, “Please, remember,” she pleaded, eyebrows drawn, face scrunched, as she turned and hurried away. Her hair danced around her pale oval face, her eyes held the mystery that I couldn’t solve. “No, don’t! Come back! Please!” I screamed in anguish. “I don’t. I don’t remember at all,” I choked, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. She was so beautiful, so perfect. Every part of her was made immaculately; she was faultless, amazingly incomparable. She was also a mystery. I know her and yet, I do not remember her. Was this some kind of test?

*****

I raised my head from the cool, porcelain sink and stared into her eyes once more. Warm ruby liquid spilt from the slash marks, on to the ceramic tiles, causing a continuous ‘tip-tap’ sound that echoed hollowly through the quiet cell. No one was about. Pleading quietly with my eyes, I stretched out a quivering finger to stroke her icy cheeks once more. “Please,” my mouth moved along, soundlessly, “I need to know.” She regarded me, pity palpable in those exquisite eyes I’ve grown accustomed to. A wave of dizziness swept through me, I felt my body go limp and sank to the floor. Just before everything went black, she murmured gently, wistfulness unmistakably etched in her voice, “I am YOU.”

picture by : Boris Vallejo